A Simple Man

All I want for my son

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

My son is now a married man.

Prior to his wedding, my now daughter-in-law asked me to choose a song for the mother-and-son dance which would follow their first dance as a married couple. I considered a few options including “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts and “You’ll Be in My Heart” by Phil Collins, but “A Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd said it all.

Here is a link to the song on YouTube if you’d like to listen to it: A Simple Man song

Here are the lyrics:

“A Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Mama told me when I was young
“Come sit beside me, my only son,
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it’ll help you
Some sunny day”
Oh, yeah

Oh, take your time, don’t live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You’ll find a woman, yeah, and you’ll find love
And don’t forget son there is someone up above

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won’t you do this for me son, if you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man’s gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won’t you do this for me son, if you can?
Oh, yes, I will

Boy, don’t you worry, you’ll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won’t you do this for me son, if you can?

Baby, be a simple, be a simple man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man

Here’s a photo of me dancing with my son to the song:

I chose this song because it really says what I want for him — it was like a final guiding piece of life advice from me to him — and it describes what he’s become after a few earlier years of trying too hard to be something he wasn’t.

He’s now a respected P.E. teacher and three-sport coach who is married to the love of his life who happens to be the school secretary, and he lives in a small community in the Nebraska, the state he loves. He has two dogs and a pickup truck, and he lives and breathes the sports he coaches and helps the kids he coaches be better people as a result of playing the sports.

I am very proud of the man he’s become, and I only want him to keep being a simple man.

He and his wife asked me to do the readings at their wedding. I read two Bible passages selected by their pastor, and I read a poem that I found — I cut out the “naughty” parts of the poem and tweaked it just a tiny bit with a few words of my own, but the poem was perfect for who my son is and for this occasion.

Here is the poem and my introduction to it:

As you all probably know, my son, Trevor, is a huge sports’ nut. He’s been one his entire life, with basketball always his favorite. I remember so many times, he would yell for me to come out and watch him make shots in the hoop in our driveway. Utter sports’ nut. So, I knew I just had to come up with something involving the metaphor of sports for this day, but I also knew that if I wrote something myself using all my feelings about this special day, I would most certainly cry. I make no promises that I still won’t, but I found a wonderful poem by a young man named Angelo Geter that says it all. 

Trevor, my sports’ crazy son, I imagine that if you were a poet, you might write something like this for Desirea. This is most aptly titled:

Love Game

So, when I was a kid I had this great fascination with sports.
I played any game that involved a ball and a competition I could win.
Favorite sport of all time was basketball.
I wanted to be like MJ and play in the NBA.
So every day after school I would practice layups, jumpers, and triple threat stance
Until the street lights came on.
Hoping that one day I would make it to the league.

If you haven’t figured it out by now,
That career ain’t quite work out for me.
Now I work here, and I love it.
But I was always a fan of any game I put my heart,
Mind, body, and soul completely into.

Relationships are a lot like sports.
Put in the hard work on the hardwood,
Grind for glory on the gridiron.
Fight on the ice.
Go the distance for 12 rounds ‘cause this is more than just a game

From the first kiss to the first fight
You will find yourself in nonstop action.

But . . . remember to never
Make them jump over hurdles for your affection.
Treat them like your star player.
The only option in your triple threat offense.

Put down your guards and power forward
By making them the center of your attention.
Treat them like your teammate and not your sparring partner.
‘Cause relationships don’t come with playbooks.
No sets and schemes to beat the opposing team.
You have to play as you go, work out,
Put in the overtime hoping that you can win the game
But remember -- this is more than just a game,
It’s an experience of a lifetime.

In the game of tennis, when a player has yet to score a point
In a match it is called “love”.
Cause they know it’s not about keeping score.
It’s about starting with nothing and adding more on top
To build something beautiful.
And ya’ll, love is beautiful.
Love is the only competition worth living and dying for –
So we run suicides
Cause sometimes you have to kill the person you are
In order to birth the lover, the man, the husband you’re meant to become.

So, no, I am not in the NBA.
I will never get drafted to play in the major leagues.
But every time I look at the scoreboards in her eyes I
know there is no way in the world
I could possibly ever lose.

I did break down a bit while reading it, but I powered through.

I’ve now entered a new chapter of my life as someone’s mother-in-law. I’m not exactly sure how to do that, but I’ll figure it out. The next chapter, I guess, will be that of grandmother (to children and not just to dogs) whenever that comes into play.

In the interim, I really need to get the next book written, edited, rewritten, polished, copy-edited, and published, so I’d best get to that. For my paying subscribers, another portion of the rough draft is beyond the paywall below. If you’d like to become a paying subscriber and have access to the novel as I’m writing it, I hope you’ll consider doing so. The book right now is just about 1/3 complete, so you can easily go back and read what I’ve shared so far or simply jump in now and see where I take you.

Until next time.

Tammy Marshall

Here is more of “Distant Dedication.” I left off last time with Natalie and her friend, Penny, having gone to Sioux Falls to see the Winter Wonderland lights at the park, but Natalie had an ulterior motive of seeing her ex, Scott, there without her husband knowing about it.